Words said in anger which you live not to regret
by whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer
Summary: Different drabbles based on the dinner scene in Order of the Phoenix.
1. Chapter 1

"You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of Dementors. Where seconds before it had been sleepily relaxed, it was now alert, even tense. A frisson had gone around the table at the mention of Voldemort's name. Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary.

"I did!" said Harry indignantly. "I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so -"

"And they're quite right," said Mrs. Weasley. "You're too young." She was sitting bolt upright in her chair, her fists clenched on its arms, every trace of drowsiness gone.

"I am not a child," Harry told her - them, the Order. His anger easily heard. Before this summer, before Cedric death he never would have so openly argued with adult before. Arguing and asking questions were not allowed under the Dursley house.

That however never stopped Harry from slipping in sarcasm in his answers whenever he was angry and oh Merlin beard he was still angry at being left with the Dursley's with no word from anyone. And what worsened matters (and Harry's temper) was that he had been guarded the summer by the Order and no one had thought to tell him.

Did they honestly expect him to be fine (and upset) at being left behind at the Dursley being told to keep his nose out of trouble after watching Credic die right in front of him along with his parent's murderer being resurrected.

Yeah no. No way in sodding hell as Dudders would say.

"Harry-" Mrs. Weasley started.

"I agree with Harry. He's not a child, not after last year-"

No Harry had never been a child not really. The Dursley had made sure his childhood (if it could be called that) wasn't a happy, normal childhood. Which was ironic now that Harry thought about it. Him not having a happy, normal childhood because of the Dursley's raising him. The Dursley who loved, inspired to be normal. "And since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" asked Sirius. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happen—" Harry felt another wave of affection for his Godfather.

"Hang on!" interrupted George loudly.

"How come Harry gets his questions answered?" said Fred angrily.

"We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!" said George.

"'You're too young, you're not in the Order'," said Fred in a high-pitched voice that sounded uncannily like his mother's. "Harry's not even of age!"

Harry and Sirius answered at the same time.

Harry's response was that maybe it because he was there for Voldemort's (everyone besides Sirius, Remus, and Harry himself winced at Tom Riddle's anagram) resurrection and oh there was the fact Voldemort was out for Harry's head and Harry had already faced his parent's murder four times now and had survived!

"It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing that's your parents' decisio-" Sirius had been explaining calmly to the twins before he processed what Harry had been saying. "Wait a second what do you mean faced Voldemort four times!?" There had went his Godfather's calmness.

Most of the inhabitants in the room looked just as confused as Sirius. The only people who didn't were Ron and Hermione and even they didn't know the full story of each time Harry had faced off Voldemort.

"My first year our Defenses Against the Dark Arts teacher, Quirrell-" looked like she wanted to tell Harry to show respect to his past Professor but was wisely staying quiet. Harry would not being showing that man any respect. Respect was earned and Merlin pants Quirrell did not deserve any respect especially from Harry. "-Voldemort hidden behind his turban. Who when he didn't succeed in killing me by jinxing my broom during my first Quidditch match tried to kill me a second time. They, Voldemort and Quirrell, would have murdered me if I hadn't killed Quirrell in self defense." Both Mrs. Weasley, Sirius, and Remus looked sick.

"My second year I faced Voldemort again. This time in the Chamber of Secrets with a basilisk who by way Hermione thank you for wriping that school book's page out 'cause if you hadn't I wouldn't have figured out how to rescue Ginny. And thank you Ron for keeping your broken wand because it saved us from Lockhart." Another Professor Harry held no respect for.

Believe it or not it was possible for Mrs. Weasley, Sirius, and Remus look even more sick though this time all the Weasleys in the room looked sick as well.

"Harry how did you get out of the Chamber of Secrets alive?" Remus asked in shaky voice.

Harry would have regretted telling them all this if it wasn't for the fumes of his anger of being abandoned (like he was some toy they could play with and forgot whenever they wished, Harry knew they cared about him but that was how it honestly felt) this summer he was still running on and the fact they needed to know all the stuff he, Ron, and Hermione had gone through so they wouldn't treat them like kids.

Because they weren't. Not after all they've been through and it was about time they were listened to and told what was going on. Otherwise they (Ron, Hermione, and him) would find out one way or another despite how hard they (the Order excluding Sirius) tried to keep it from them.

They always did in the end. Usually by the year's end now that Harry was thinking about it.

"Fawkes and the sorting hat that conveniently carries the Sword of Gryffindor in it. Fawkes scratched the basilisk's eyes out so I could fight the monster."

Sirius had his face in his hands and was muttering about homeschooling Harry with Remus' help because Hogwarts was not safe considering Harry's last year and his first and second years at the magically school.

"You fought the basilisk at twelve and lived?" Bill Weasley, the oldest Weasley child, asked before taking a gulp of wizarding alcohol.

"I got stabbed-" Most of the occupants took a sharp breath in.

Sirius lifted his head from his hands to look at Harry. Harry's heart broke a little by the look in Sirius' eyes. His godfather couldn't blame himself for all that happened to Harry. He had been in Azkaban at the time because of how corrupt the Ministry was. Harry made a mental note to talk about to his godfather about not blaming himself.

Hermione and Ron looked more concerned than angry at him for admitting that part from the story that he told them during the feast.

"-by the basilisk when I stabbed it's mouth. I was dying from the poison when Fawkes started crying."

"Phoenix tears," Remus said before trailing off.

At some of the Order of the Phoenix confusion that was written on some of their faces Harry answered the unasked question. "Fawkes is a phoenix and a phoenix's tears have healing abilities."

Harry gave them a minute (that felt much longer than a minute because of the silence in the room) before going on.

"You all know what happened last year. Voldemort wants me dead. Has wanted me dead since I was a baby. Trying to protect me by not telling me anything and sending me to school isn't going to work. It never has in the past; Hogwarts is supposedly the safest place in the world yet Voldemort has tried to kill me three times there. So maybe we should apply some common sense and choose to learn from past mistakes." Harry glared at everyone besides his friends, the twins, Ginny who was awfully pale, Sirius, and Remus.

* * *

 **A/N: Was I the only that didn't like how the Order treated Harry like he was a child and Harry (in the year he was angery- which makes him hilariously sarcastic- because of Voldmort being alive and effecting his emotions) rolls over? I'm mean really? Were they not told of all the sh*t Harry (and Hermione & Ron) went through during his past Hogwarts years?**

 **I own nothing btw and this is also posted on archiveofourown.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Another take at the dinner scene.**

As he laid down his spoon there was a lull in the general conversation: Mr. Weasley was leaning back in his chair, looking replete and relaxed; Tonks was yawning widely, her nose now back to normal; and Ginny who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling Butterbeer corks for him to chase.

"Nearly time for bed, I think," said Mrs. Weasley with a yawn.

"Not just yet, Molly" said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry.

"You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of Dementors. Where seconds before it had been sleepily relaxed, it was now alert, even tense. A frisson had gone around the table at the mention of Voldemort's name. Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary.

"I did!" said Harry indignantly. "I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so -"

"And they're quite right," said Mrs. Weasley. "You're too young." She was sitting bolt upright in her chair, her fists clenched on its arms, any and every trace of drowsiness gone.

Harry felt the filmlair wave of the mixed emotions of anger and frustration crash over him. He knew Mrs. Weasley was trying to protect him but it was frustrating along with a bit hypocritical. She hadn't said anything about him being too young when he and Ron had saved Ginny. No one had really fought about him contending in the Tri-Wizard Tournament despite being too young.

She and Dumbledore couldn't just choose when he was old enough and when he wasn't. Though, Harry amended , intentions, motherly instinct were better than Dumbledore's mysterious ones at least.

"Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" asked Sirius. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happen—"

"Hang on!" interrupted George loudly.

"How come Harry gets his questions answered?" said Fred angrily.

"We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!" said George.

"You're too young, you're not in the Order'," said Fred in a high-pitched voice that sounded uncannily like his mother's. "Harry's not even of age!"

Both Sirius and him answered at the same time.

"How does this work? I was of age to kill a person when I was just eleven to prevent Voldemort from returning but at fifth-teen I'm not at age. That's all find and dandy not at all poppycock!" Harry cried out in frustration.

"It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing that's your parents' decisio-" Sirius had been explaining calmly to the twins before he processed what he was hearing from Harry's statement. "Sorry pup did I just hear..." Sirius trailed off purposely not wanting to believe what he had just heard.

Most of the inhabitants in the room looked just as confused as Sirius. The only people who didn't were Ron and Hermione and mind you that was because they were not just his friends but often were his partners not in crime but in trying to save their school from yearly Big Bad.

"My first year at Hogwarts our Defense against the Dark Arts Professor had, ironically, Voldemort behind his turban," Harry told the Order who Dumbledore apparently hadn't informed of Harry's multiple encounters of Voldemort.

"Wait a minute!" Fred cried out in disbelief.

"You're basically telling us that we threw snowballs at he who shall not be named?" George continued in a mixture of disbelief an- was he starting to smile?

Yes, he and Fred were starting to grin like the Cheshire Cat whilst Mrs. Weasley started turning as pale as ghost.

Harry shook his head before getting back on track. "Voldemort came to Hogwarts so that he could steal the philosopher's stone to come back to life. To summarize it simply: I ended up killing Quirrell in self defense. How does this work? I kill Quirrell, I face an armies of acromantula and dementors with Ron and Hermione, I time travel with Hermione to save Sirius from a dementor's kiss, Ron and I help her brew a thing of Polyjuice potion in the girls bathroom which took getting a teacher to sign a slip so we could get the book from the Restricted Area in the library and stealing from Snape's cupboards, I kill a basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets and a teenage version of Voldemort to save Ginny, I get entered into a tournament that I'm too young for but I still have to compete in. How does that work? Please explain it logically to me how I'm too young to know about what Voldemort is up to when he's been trying to kill me multiple times since I was a baby!?"

The reactions of the Order members were diverse.

Alastor Moody was looking Harry with grim approval. Bill and Charlie had they're shock written on their faces easy to be read. looked sick. Fred and George were silent in shock. Mundungus had once again fallen asleep.

Tonks' hair had become a solemn grey which was shocking to Harry. They had only just recently met why should any of this cause such a reaction?

Sirius looked as ill as and Remus looked far more ill and shabby than normally. Hermione and Ron were looking shocked at him as if he had two heads because of his expulsive confession.

Harry would have gulped if his mouth wasn't dry as the dessert. He hadn't meant to confess to all of that and now his friends and him were going to be in such trouble. Especially when Snape did learn, and finally have proof, that they had stolen from him.

Harry took a deep breathe. "I think I have a right to know what Voldemort is up no matter my age or what Dumbledore says. You might as well tell Ron and Hermione because they have a right too and even if you don't I will tell them myself." Yes Harry still had some lingering anger at them from this summer but that could wait.

Finally someone besides himself spoke.  
"This just proves my point," Sirius confessed to Molly before turning to face Harry. "You're not going to school. When I, Remus, and your father were your age you can bet every gallon you owned we got into lots trouble but not like that. I'm sure Remus will help me home school."

Remus looked up, shaken from his thoughts. "Yes. Of course and I have no doubt you will still be the best student I ever taught."

Harry smiled at despite the apprehension he felt because of his confession he had told in anger.

"Anyone else want to help home-school Harry?" Sirius asked looking at every Order member besides Mundungus who was still asleep and Molly who he glared at, daring her to say anything against him.

Both Tonks and Mad Eye Moody nodded. Sirius charmingly smiled in appreciation which made Mad Eye glare at the animagus.

"Now that all of it has been settled for now how about we start on our meeting?" Remus asked.

No one rejected the suggestion.

* * *

 **A/N: Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in. ;)**

 **Am I the only one that has problem with how Harry kills (Yes, killed. Killing a person in self-defense, the self defense of someone else, or in war is not murder.) Quirrell and:**

 **1.) Harry has no ptsd. Which as stated earlier Harry had every right to kill** **Quirrell to save himself (and the wizarding world from Voldemort coming back earlier in the series) but he was still just a kid and him bouncing back from that like nothing...It's wrong.**

 **2.) Dumbledore sends him on his merry way to the Dursleys who couldn't comfort Harry to save their own abuses asses.**

 **Then the same thing happens again (though this time Harry does have some ptsd issues)** **after Harry is forced to watch helpless as Cedric dies and Voldemort, his parents murderer and his multiple attempted murderer, come back to life.**

 **I use to love Dumbledore when I was a kid reading the books but now...**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Originally posted on ao3 under the pen name youngjusticewriter.

* * *

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another - Lemony Snicket.

* * *

As he put down his spoon there was a lull in the general conversation: Mr. Weasley was leaning back in his chair, looking replete and relaxed; Tonks was yawning widely, her nose now back to normal; and Ginny who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling Butterbeer corks for him to chase. "Nearly time for bed, I think," s

As he put down his spoon there was a lull in the general conversation: Mr. Weasley was leaning back in his chair, looking replete and relaxed; Tonks was yawning widely, her nose now back to normal; and Ginny who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling Butterbeer corks for him to chase.

"Nearly time for bed, I think," said Mrs. Weasley with a yawn.

"Not just yet, Molly" said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate from him before he turned to look at his godson.

"You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of Dementors. Where seconds before it had been sleepily and relaxed, it was now alert and tense. A frisson had gone around the table at the mention of Voldemort's name. Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary.

"I did!" Harry cried out indignantly. "I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so -"

"And they're quite right," Mrs. Weasley snapped. "You're too young." She was sitting bolt upright in her chair, her fists clenched on its arms, any and every trace of drowsiness gone.

Harry felt the anger from this summer start to crash over him. He knew Mrs. Weasley was trying to protect him but there was no protecting him. Hogwarts was considered safe and how many times had he almost died. How many times had the adults been well Mister Poes, Harry realized suddenly.

"Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" asked Sirius. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happen—"

"Hang on!" interrupted George loudly.

"How come Harry gets his questions answered?" said Fred angrily.

"We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!" said George.

"You're too young, you're not in the Order'," said Fred in a high-pitched voice that sounded uncannily like his mother's. "Harry's not even of age!"

Both Sirius and him answered at the same time.

"Since when has Dumbledore and Voldemort cared about my age?" Harry snarled out.

"It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing that's your parents' decisio-" Sirius had been explaining calmly to the Weasley twins before he processed Harry's statement. "Why haven't Dumbledore cared about your age?" Sirius asked wearily.

Instead of answering, Harry took a deep breath and said something he'd been wanting since he'd been left at the Dursleys without any contact besides stay safe and behave:

"Have you ever heard of the book series A Series of Unfortunate Events?" He asked the group in room. He waited for a minute that was filled with silence of confusion before he went on.

"It's a story about three orphan siblings whose parents had been killed - though quite possibly been murdered by the first relative they're sent to that to live with by their quite frankly idiotic banker Mister Poe. Anyway, the Baudelaire orphans try to tell Mister Poe and Justice Strauss," Harry gave Mrs. Weasley a pointed look, "that Count Olaf is no good. No one listens because no one cares or they're utter morons despite their good intentions."

This time Harry gave everyone in the room a glare. "So the Baudelaire siblings have to save themselves. Each Baudelaire child has a talent rather it being a child inventor, a studious reader, or having really sharp teeth. They barely manage to stop Violet being married off to Count Olaf so he can have access to their family's fortune, Sunny being dropped to her death, and convincing the adults that their guardian was evil."

Harry paused, giving time for the quick summary of the first book to sink in, before he continued. "Enter the second book. The Baudelaire orphans are sent to live with their relative Montgomery Montgomery, more commonly referred to as Uncle Monty, who will be the only worth while relative the Baudelaire get. Unfortunately for the orphans Count Olaf comes back into their lives like the bad penny he is. He murders Uncle Monty and to be honest the only person who fits this character in my life is you Sirius so I'm a bit worried about your life since I can personally relate to them. Anyway, no one once again listens to the poor Baudelaire children but they manage to real Count Olaf's true identity and his plot to steal their fortune."

Harry paused and took a sip of water before he continued. "There are several books in the series but I'm going to quickly summarize it up. Basically, everyone around the Baudelaire orphans do more harm than help to them. The Baudelaire keep having to save themselves despite being children because Count Olaf sure as bloody hell didn't care for the age nor did the universe apparently. Let me explain why I'm telling this to you since you all lack common sense. I'm the Baudelaire orphans and my talent is being good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, Voldemort is basically Count Olaf though I don't know what he's after which made him try to murder me as a child, you all (with the exception of Sirius who represents Uncle Monty and Mrs. Weasley who represents Justice Strauss) are Mister Poe which is to say you have good intentions but your stupidity and blind faith in the will, which is to say Dumbledore, is causing me more harm than help. It doesn't matter if you don't tell me what's Voldemort is doing because there's this trend that at the end of the school I always find out and get stuck handling then I get awarded for this behavior by Dumbledore. If you don't believe me you can go ask Hermione and Ron who also get dragged into it as well. Dumbledore and Voldemort don't care about my age. I hate - actually I don't - to shatter your rose-tinted glasses but I rather you just tell me instead of me finding out right before it's too late and I have to go save the day before Dumbledore is mysterious absent when needed."

Everyone looked shocked. Harry, who had to endure the Dursleys and knowing that Voldemort was out there without so much of a word (besides be a good little boy and don't cause trouble), couldn't feel an ounce of regret. Honestly it was quite therapeutic and well deserved. There was only so much Harry could take despite what everyone else thought.


End file.
